#Perspective
Three Things I Learned From Golf
That Better Prepared Me For Motherhood
When my grandfather and I went to The Masters tournament together for the last time in 2019, I was pregnant. We sat behind the green of the 2nd hole on Thursday afternoon. Instead of our usual conversation of who we thought had a shot at winning or reminiscing on previous trips we had taken together, we chatted about how I was about to become a mom. He laughed a lot and said he hoped my son was just like me so that I would know the kind of stress I put my mom under. “You were a handful,” he said jokingly (but accurately).
There’s a lot about the game of golf that applies to being a mom. I’ve learned a few things through watching and attempting to play the game over the years that have better prepared me for motherhood. Things that have given me - as the PGA Tour dads like to say - #Perspective.
Watch & learn from seasoned vets
My mom & I at The Masters this year. I’ve learned so much from her & am thankful to have her as an example.
Jon Rahm is a PGA Tour winner and a major champion and even he seeks advice from those who came before him. At this year’s Masters tournament, he mentioned to the press how he sought out advice from Tiger Woods multiple times. It makes sense that he would ask for a few tips from the one man who has been through almost every high and low in the game of golf that you could think of.
But not all of us have direct access to ask Tiger Woods for advice. So most of us settle for improving our game by watching and learning from the methods the pros are using on TV. Or we take lessons and advice at the course from professionals who have more experience and knowledge than us. We can take what we learn from these professionals and put it into action on our own game.
The same rings true for motherhood. The first person I call with any question or concern related to parenting is my mom. I’m going directly to the person who has been through all of the seasons of motherhood to seek out her advice. Even before I became a mom, the first person I called with any question (What’s a 401k? How long do I boil eggs? What do you use to get out a mustard stain?) was my mom.
I watched and learned, as I was growing up, and took notes on how to be a good mom. I watched the sacrifices my mom made every day so that we could have the things that we needed. I watched her be loving, and patient, and kind my whole life. And now I get to take what I’ve learned and put it into practice in my own life.
Be patient. Like really, really patient.
In April of 2017, Sergio Garcia entered the field at The Masters for his 74th major appearance. All of those major starts, yet he still didn’t have a win. We all know what happened next - he defeated Justin Rose in a sudden-death playoff and finally became a major champion. Sergio is far from the only golfer that’s had to wait for their time to shine. Lee Westwood is at 88 major starts and is still waiting. Rory McIlroy has been a Masters favorite for the past decade, and he’s still waiting for a green jacket. Justin Thomas has been patiently waiting on his chance to get that elusive second major under his belt.
There’s a lot of patience needed for the pros when it comes to wins and majors, but there’s patience needed within the game itself too. Golf is not a game you can rush. Bobby Jones has a “no running” rule in Augusta for a reason. The less patience you have in your game, the more likely you are to lose.
Patience is absolutely a skill you need as a mom. I’ll be honest, I had very little patience before I became a mom. I had to figure it out pretty quickly once my son was born, otherwise I would go crazy and my child would suffer from my constant outbursts. And kids really do know how to test your patience - from the lack of sleep when they’re an infant, the tantrums when they’re a toddler, and the attitude when they’re teenagers (that I’ve yet to experience but I’m sure is a joy!). But in the same way that I want to be patient in my golf game so I don’t lose, I want to be patient as a parent so I don’t lose my temper.
Learn to accept things that are out of your control
A one-year-old’s smash cake is the perfect example of things you cannot control. You literally NEVER know how they are going to react. Will they dive in head first? Will they be afraid to touch it? You just gotta roll with whatever their reaction is.
The weather at The Players Championship this year was dreadful. There was rain and wind unlike anything most of these players had ever experienced in their careers. The first round didn’t even finish until halfway through Saturday, a brutal 54 hours and 16 minutes after it started. The tournament’s infamous 17th hole, the island, had pretty much everyone fighting for their life. Brooks Koepka was a fan favorite heading into the week; he played the hole twice that day and made a double-bogey 5 and a triple-bogey 6. And all he could do was laugh about it.
I have found that motherhood is very much the same way. There are days when nothing goes the way you thought it would. Especially in those early years where sleep is non-existent and your sanity is hanging on by a thread. You feel like you’re on your own kind of island fighting for your life. You can read all the books and make all the schedules you want, but kids are kids and life is life. There will be things that happen unexpectedly and there’s nothing you can do about it. And let me tell you, life becomes a little bit easier the sooner you realize that and stop stressing out about it.
A good friend recently told me a quote her coach once shared with her. She said, “if you live and die by every shot, you’re gonna do a lot of dying.” If the pros had been living and dying by every shot at The Players that weekend, there wouldn’t have been anyone left at the end of the weekend. Motherhood is the same way; you’re gonna have some days you wish you could get a mulligan. But the game becomes a lot more fun when you remember that you’re doing the best you can and just go with the flow.
Golf and motherhood are both a constant learning process, you never stop growing and improving. None of us are perfect golfers and none of us are perfect moms, we aren’t going to get it right every time. But we all love the game, we all love our kids, and we’re all doing our best at both. I think that’s a pretty good #Perspective to have.
